How to Hide the Fact That You Spent Your Entire Christmas Break Getting Baked Alone in Your Apartment

How to Hide the Fact That You Spent Your Entire Christmas Break Getting Baked Alone in Your Apartment,

You’ve earned your break. Enjoy it! But you probably don’t want your parents/colleagues to know that the Balsam Fir wasn’t the only tree you lit each night over the Christmas holidays.

1. Don’t Leave a Huge Mess

Eventually, you’ll probably have to cope with having another human stop by your place. It sucks, but it happens, and the likelihood increases as you approach Christmas day. So you’d best clean up after yourself on a sesh-by-sesh basis.

  • If you’re one of those people who can’t pack a bowl or vape without spilling, use a makeshift funnel to keep your weed in order. As non-drinker, I don’t have an actual funnel on hand, so I use my Mouthpeace from mooselabs.us (the classic version from us). Rolled-up printer paper works as well.
  • Couldn’t help but spill some weed anyhow? Cover the end of a vacuum with a sock to clean it up without wasting any.
  • Clean up bong water and resin spills immediately, or else the smell is going to stick around for a long time. Bong water will usually come out of carpet if you spray the stain with white vinegar, blot with a towel, sprinkle baking soda, and repeat. Resin will come out with rubbing alcohol or Goo-Gone.

2. Get an Air Purifier

Trying to cover up the smell with essential oils or other scents is next to useless. You’ll just get a fresh lavender smell one second and a mouthful of dank smell the next whenever you walk through your apartment. Doesn’t fool anyone for long.

The real trick: get a charcoal air purifier. Charcoal is one of the few air filtration methods that effectively captures and neutralizes smells. That’s why it’s use in your range hood filter. You do have the replace the charcoal periodically, though, because the pores actually fill up with microscopic airborne particles over time.

3. Watch a Current Release

“What did you do on your break?”

Well, you could lie and say you visited the family or went to Blue Mountain or something, but you haven’t got the socials to back it up. Who’d go to Christmas dinner without posting a single story?

You could say, “Nothing,” but that’s not super convincing if you don’t want people to assume you were just stoned in your house for two weeks.

Easy solution: watch some current releases on demand and say you went to the theatre. No one expects you to have photographic evidence of this, and it’s mundane enough that no one will question it.

4. Un-Dank Your Clothing

Blazing up your entire place for two weeks is going to give your clothes and linens a distinctive, telltale odour. It’s usually sufficient to spray them with Febreeze and dry them with dryer sheets, but if that’s not doing the trick, try some Ozium. It’s what professional cleaners use to get old smells out of car upholstery.

That’s all I’ve got today. Happy Holidays!

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